For You, Grandpa.

Exactly one year ago today (at 6:00 pm), my grandpa passed away.  I could go on and on and tell all of my memories of him.  Like the time we were in Ft Lauderdale and he put a little lizard on my arm and had me go knock at the door so my grandma would come.  She let out this loud scream and I just giggled and giggled.  Or the time we left Sunday coffee with his buddies and when we got to the street he and my grandma lives on, he let me climb into his lap and "steer" the car home.  Now, we all know who *really* did all the steering.  At church on Sunday when we would stand up to sing, he would always point at the wrong song so I would start to sing that one.

He was at every sporting event, every school concert, every time I sang in church, no matter what church it was.  He was always there, with the biggest smile on his face like I was his little shining star.  He always let me know how much he loved me and how proud he was of me.  He was always there for me.  ALWAYS.

Grandpa, I know it's selfish, but I wish that you were back with me.  I wish that you were around to crack your jokes and to tell me that you love me.  I wish you were still here so that I could look out into the crowd at see you smile your smile at me.  I wish you were here to hug me again, like I was your favorite grandchild, although I know you hugged us all like that.  I wish you could meet Scott, I know you would be so proud of him and would love him so much.

But as much as I wish all of these things, I am glad that you don't hurt anymore.  That you aren't sick anymore.  Most of all I am glad that you are helping God prepare my place in Heaven, where we will one day be together again.

So, in honor of you today, on this one year anniversary of your passing, I leave you with this song, your favorite song.  My Way by Frank Sinatra.

And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes it was my way