Time to let go already?

You know how you have to "let go" of your child when they go off to college?  Or when they get married?  Nobody told me I would have to do that by the time Scott was 16 months old.

Something changed in me when Scott was born.  In a matter of SECONDS, I was willing to die for this baby that I had yet to see (because he was born by c-section).  I would jump in front of a bullet, in front of a train, if I knew it would spare his life.  In a matter of seconds, I loved harder and in such a different way than I had ever loved before.

Scott has an incredible family, and Nick and I have a great support system in helping us care for him.  I have never, ever been concerned that he wasn't in good hands with our family members who watch him (so if you are reading this PLEASE don't think that!  If I was that worried he wouldn't have spent time alone with you haha!), but there is always this part of me that is scared to death that something might happen.  What if he falls down and hurts himself?  What if there is a car accident?  What if.......?  And then it hit me.  All of those things could happen to him on MY watch.

And the other part to that is "I forgot to tell him that he likes blah blah blah" or "I wonder if they know to slice the grape in half, and then quarter the halves" or "make sure he has blanky at bedtime."  I then remind myself that the people Scott is with have raised their own kids.

Man, there is so much parenting books don't teach you.