Friday, March 25, 2011

My name is Mandi...

...and I am an over-eater.

After reading an article in some magazine at work in the break room today I have come to the hard realization that I am an over-eater.  I splurge and it's bad and I think it could be one of the biggest reasons I am the weight that I am.  It's no big deal for me to eat an entire box of swiss cake rolls in two days.  I know, that is so terrible and you may be thinking "whoa!" because that is exactly what I am thinking as I write this.  I know that for me to be successful in my journey to a healthier me I have to face my food demons, and this is one of them.

Remember when I said in one of my first posts about how I didn't want to say I had an addiction because I felt it was a slap in the face to someone with a "real" addiction?  Hello, denial, we meet at last.  I think that I may have a bit (putting it nicely) of an addiction to food.  I don't get just one candy bar.  I get an entire box from Sam's club.  A box of Little Debbie's doesn't last long around me.  Two days tops most of the time.  I have a really hard time with having just a little bit.

One of the things the writer of the article said was that it was easier to have none than to have one and it got me thinking.  Do I have the self-discipline to have, every now and than, one sweet?  Do I have the willpower to have one package of swiss cake roll and not the entire box?  Do I need to just say goodbye and cut myself off?

I guess I am having a hard time with this one.  Alcoholics don't get to have a drink here and there.  Crackheads don't get to have a hit off the pipe here and there.  Here is where it gets me - is food ruining my life the way drugs or alcohol ruin other people's lives?  I thought that I believed that the saying "all things in moderation" was true, that it applied to me.  Does it?  Or do I need to "get off the crack pipe," so-to-say?

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