In order to end on a happy note, I have to start out with the more serious part of this blog. Most of you know that I was put on Zoloft for postpartum depression. It wasn't too bad, so I was on a small dose. Well, since I have been staying home with Scott it has gotten worse. Don't get me wrong, I love Scott more than anything and feel so blessed to have such a sweet, precious little boy...but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed because I literally spend every second with him! And while I enjoy spending all the time with him it can sometimes get to me. So, I called the doctor (mama called the doctor and the doctor said.....) and the decided to double the dose I was taking. I am writing about this because I want any new mom, or any mom with an infant to know that IT'S OK to feel that way. It's ok to cry or to feel overwhelmed. What isn't ok is to ignore it. If you feel like you are going crazy or are at your wit's end, call your doctor. There are so many moms out there who feel like that, too, and they called their doctor and are getting help. There is nothing wrong with getting help - especially when it comes to baby.
Now, on to the fun stuff! Those of you who know me know that I love to sing. And those of you who know me well know I LOVE love love to make up songs. Well, to take existing songs and change the words around. Here are some examples:
-A bay bay - "Hey Bray Bray" (one of my dogs' name is Braylon)
-Whatta man - "Whatta baby whatta baby whatta baby what a mighty cute baby" and "you so crazy, I'm pretty sure that you're my baby"
-Power of Love - "Cause you're my baby, and I am your mom"
And my favorite - Baby Got Back- "I like cute babies and I cannot lie, you other mamma's can't deny...." and "So your baby rolls a Graco..."
Mostly, I just love singing to Scott. Me being laid off really was a huge blessing in disguise. I have been to blessed to be able to stay home with Scott and spend all this time with him. Every day is a new thing, and it never gets boring, that's for sure!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Solid food = solid poop!
Really? I am excited over solid poop? What is wrong with me? When did I take this turn from hip, cool young woman to excited over poop mom? I'll tell you when...February 4th, 2010. And I have to admit...I like it!
Scott turned 4 months on June 4th, and we started in with the rice cereal, oatmeal and solid/jar food. We started with veggies, because fruits are sweeter and we wanted to make sure he would like the veggies. Peas was our breakthrough veggie. At first he sort of moved it around in his mouth, unsure of what this foreign matter in his mouth was. He didn't get a lot down that sitting, but once we tried later that night he gobbled them down!
Now we are eating a fruit and oatmeal in the morning, cereal and a fruit/veggie in the afternoon, cereal and a veggie in the evening and a bottle of cereal at night-night time. Misc bottles are fed here and there throughout the day.
So, two days ago he made a poop and I took him back and when I pulled his diaper back he wasn't done. I know, you are thinking gross - TMI - but it was SOLID and it was so exciting! My little man's insides are working the way they are supposed to and he is making solid poop!
No teeth yet, but they will be here soon I think. He is constantly chewing on his fingers and he drools CONSTANTLY. I am really looking forward to being done with work and staying home full time.
Also, I now am the proud driver of a beautiful gold Chrysler Town & Country. Oh yeah, it's minivan time.
Scott turned 4 months on June 4th, and we started in with the rice cereal, oatmeal and solid/jar food. We started with veggies, because fruits are sweeter and we wanted to make sure he would like the veggies. Peas was our breakthrough veggie. At first he sort of moved it around in his mouth, unsure of what this foreign matter in his mouth was. He didn't get a lot down that sitting, but once we tried later that night he gobbled them down!
Now we are eating a fruit and oatmeal in the morning, cereal and a fruit/veggie in the afternoon, cereal and a veggie in the evening and a bottle of cereal at night-night time. Misc bottles are fed here and there throughout the day.
So, two days ago he made a poop and I took him back and when I pulled his diaper back he wasn't done. I know, you are thinking gross - TMI - but it was SOLID and it was so exciting! My little man's insides are working the way they are supposed to and he is making solid poop!
No teeth yet, but they will be here soon I think. He is constantly chewing on his fingers and he drools CONSTANTLY. I am really looking forward to being done with work and staying home full time.
Also, I now am the proud driver of a beautiful gold Chrysler Town & Country. Oh yeah, it's minivan time.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
It's ok to be away
I think this entry is going to be one of my most important ones, because it took me a while to know that what I was feeling was ok. It was normal, actually.
It's ok to be away. It means exactly what you think it does. It's ok to be away from baby, to want to be away from baby. It doesn't make you a bad mother, it just makes you human. One thing we have to remember is that even though we decide to have a child and grow our family, we are still individuals and need our "me" time. We also need "daddy and mommy" together time. Just because we are parents and have a beautiful little boy to take care of doesn't mean that we have to sacrifice our time together to do that.
Scott just spent a couple days with his grandma and grandpa and I can't tell you how nice it was to just be us again for a couple days. It was nice to be able to go out and drink with friends and stay out late. It was nice to just hang out with Nick and do nothing but relax.
But Saturday, when grandma and grandpa brought Scott home, my life was complete again. Even though it was nice to be without him for a day or two, it was even better to have him home! So, new mom's especially, have grandma and grandpa take him/her for a day or two and have time with your man. Or, have daddy hang out with him so you can go do something for yourself. We can't take care of a baby if we don't first take care of ourselves.
So, it's ok to be away.
It's ok to be away. It means exactly what you think it does. It's ok to be away from baby, to want to be away from baby. It doesn't make you a bad mother, it just makes you human. One thing we have to remember is that even though we decide to have a child and grow our family, we are still individuals and need our "me" time. We also need "daddy and mommy" together time. Just because we are parents and have a beautiful little boy to take care of doesn't mean that we have to sacrifice our time together to do that.
Scott just spent a couple days with his grandma and grandpa and I can't tell you how nice it was to just be us again for a couple days. It was nice to be able to go out and drink with friends and stay out late. It was nice to just hang out with Nick and do nothing but relax.
But Saturday, when grandma and grandpa brought Scott home, my life was complete again. Even though it was nice to be without him for a day or two, it was even better to have him home! So, new mom's especially, have grandma and grandpa take him/her for a day or two and have time with your man. Or, have daddy hang out with him so you can go do something for yourself. We can't take care of a baby if we don't first take care of ourselves.
So, it's ok to be away.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Signs, signs everywhere signs
Some signs are easy to read. Stop. One way. Dead end.
Some signs are not as easy to read. Sometimes God gives you signs and you don't even realize they are signs.
Back up to the week before I went back to work. I was in the shower (I do all of my best thinking in the shower. Well, when I'm not singing) and I asked God to give me a sign on what I should do. Stay home with Scott or go back to work. I really wanted to stay home, but I knew financially it would be almost impossible. I enjoy what I do at work, and I love the students and my friends, but I have some complaints about certain things. I think that is typical, though, of all jobs.
It's my first week back and it's nice. It's actually nice to be back. I am getting back into the swing of things and then the postpartum stuff hits me. I call the doctor and get some anti-depressants. They are working wonders.
Fast forward now to last Friday. I get called into my boss's office. He informs me that, due to budget cuts, my position is being eliminated. Wait, back-up. What? He is very sorry but the district just doesn't have the money. I get angry. The DISTRICT doesn't have the money? Don't talk to me about not having money...now we are going to be a one-income family with a three month old baby, mortgage, car payment and a few miscellaneous small payments. I didn't say that, of course, I just sat there and cried. So many thoughts ran through my head but the biggest and scariest was "how are we going to pay our mortgage?" Yeah, I wanted to stay home but like I said, it is pretty much a financial impossibility. Until now. If my position is being eliminated that means I am getting laid off and that means I can draw unemployment. I am still angry and scared and worried about how I can help provide for my family.
The weekend gave me a lot of time to think. Mandi, remember when you asked God to give you a sign about whether or not you should stay home or go back to work? I think this is your sign. Maybe this is God's way of telling me that I should be home with Scott. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, and if me being laid off wasn't part of God's plan for my life, I really do not believe it would have happened. While what I can get from unemployment isn't going to be as much as I would make working, it will be enough to help us get by and figure out a budget. We won't be paying day care. I won't be paying all that gas money. But most of all, I can be home with Scott and be the stay at home mom that I have wanted to be since he was born.
God does listen to our prayers; he does give us signs. We just need to pay better attention to those signs.
Some signs are not as easy to read. Sometimes God gives you signs and you don't even realize they are signs.
Back up to the week before I went back to work. I was in the shower (I do all of my best thinking in the shower. Well, when I'm not singing) and I asked God to give me a sign on what I should do. Stay home with Scott or go back to work. I really wanted to stay home, but I knew financially it would be almost impossible. I enjoy what I do at work, and I love the students and my friends, but I have some complaints about certain things. I think that is typical, though, of all jobs.
It's my first week back and it's nice. It's actually nice to be back. I am getting back into the swing of things and then the postpartum stuff hits me. I call the doctor and get some anti-depressants. They are working wonders.
Fast forward now to last Friday. I get called into my boss's office. He informs me that, due to budget cuts, my position is being eliminated. Wait, back-up. What? He is very sorry but the district just doesn't have the money. I get angry. The DISTRICT doesn't have the money? Don't talk to me about not having money...now we are going to be a one-income family with a three month old baby, mortgage, car payment and a few miscellaneous small payments. I didn't say that, of course, I just sat there and cried. So many thoughts ran through my head but the biggest and scariest was "how are we going to pay our mortgage?" Yeah, I wanted to stay home but like I said, it is pretty much a financial impossibility. Until now. If my position is being eliminated that means I am getting laid off and that means I can draw unemployment. I am still angry and scared and worried about how I can help provide for my family.
The weekend gave me a lot of time to think. Mandi, remember when you asked God to give you a sign about whether or not you should stay home or go back to work? I think this is your sign. Maybe this is God's way of telling me that I should be home with Scott. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, and if me being laid off wasn't part of God's plan for my life, I really do not believe it would have happened. While what I can get from unemployment isn't going to be as much as I would make working, it will be enough to help us get by and figure out a budget. We won't be paying day care. I won't be paying all that gas money. But most of all, I can be home with Scott and be the stay at home mom that I have wanted to be since he was born.
God does listen to our prayers; he does give us signs. We just need to pay better attention to those signs.
Monday, May 10, 2010
My first Mother's Day as a mom!
My first ever Mother's Day as a mom came and went and it was such a great day! I really don't have much to write about...just that we had lunch at my mom and dad's and my 6 year old niece painted my nails and it was just such a wonderful family day.
I still sometimes am in awe of Scott, and of the fact that I am a mom. I am responsible for caring for him, for teaching him right from wrong, for teaching him how to make good decisions, etc etc. He truly has been such a blessing and I am so thankful that he is healthy and growing and just a wonderful little baby!
I still sometimes am in awe of Scott, and of the fact that I am a mom. I am responsible for caring for him, for teaching him right from wrong, for teaching him how to make good decisions, etc etc. He truly has been such a blessing and I am so thankful that he is healthy and growing and just a wonderful little baby!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Sweet dreams are made of.........Zoloft?
So, I think I told you that I am on Zoloft for some post-partum issues. I don't know if it is/was actually depression, but it was something out of my control. Anyway, I have been on the Zoloft now for two weeks and I am having some of the most incredibly weird dreams. Like, out of this world you can't make this stuff up dreams. Here is my favorite:
I am at my parents house. My brother is there. Our pets are there with us. We are back in my mom and dad's bedroom playing with a hamster in a hamster ball (NONE of us own a hamster - and in the dream we are the age we are now...not kids). All of a sudden, a smoke detector goes off. It is sitting on the ground plugged into the wall. My brother suggests that since we have a fan pointed right on it, that might have set it off. We turn the fan off and unplug and reset the smoke detector. It goes off again. The other detectors go off. We see the smoke and get out of the house. I realize my cat, Sammy, is in the house. I get hysterical and the firefighters are holding me back. All of a sudden, a firefighter jumps out of the second story window with Sammy (my mom and dad's house is a ranch...).
Next thing I know, it's my entire family in the dream and we have no place to live. Apparently we all lived at my mom and dad's house. We are talking to our financial adviser at Edward Jones and he tells us he has an "executive suite" in his office (which he does not) and that we can all stay there until we find a place to live. So, it's getting close to bedtime and we are all getting settled in our cots and couches. Our financial adviser was there, too, and that was really weird. All of a sudden, snakes just start coming in from EVERY side of the suite. I am grabbing them (which would never EVER happen in real life) and tossing them out windows and doors. Then I wake up.
Ummmmmm....what the hell is that all about?
I am at my parents house. My brother is there. Our pets are there with us. We are back in my mom and dad's bedroom playing with a hamster in a hamster ball (NONE of us own a hamster - and in the dream we are the age we are now...not kids). All of a sudden, a smoke detector goes off. It is sitting on the ground plugged into the wall. My brother suggests that since we have a fan pointed right on it, that might have set it off. We turn the fan off and unplug and reset the smoke detector. It goes off again. The other detectors go off. We see the smoke and get out of the house. I realize my cat, Sammy, is in the house. I get hysterical and the firefighters are holding me back. All of a sudden, a firefighter jumps out of the second story window with Sammy (my mom and dad's house is a ranch...).
Next thing I know, it's my entire family in the dream and we have no place to live. Apparently we all lived at my mom and dad's house. We are talking to our financial adviser at Edward Jones and he tells us he has an "executive suite" in his office (which he does not) and that we can all stay there until we find a place to live. So, it's getting close to bedtime and we are all getting settled in our cots and couches. Our financial adviser was there, too, and that was really weird. All of a sudden, snakes just start coming in from EVERY side of the suite. I am grabbing them (which would never EVER happen in real life) and tossing them out windows and doors. Then I wake up.
Ummmmmm....what the hell is that all about?
Three months and counting!
Well, Scotty turned THREE MONTHS old on May 4th! I can't believe he has been in this world for three months now. It seems like just yesterday we found out we were pregnant. What made it even cooler is that Nick's birthday was also May 4th! I had conferences at work, so I was gone from 7 a.m. - 8:30 p.m. SO, I didn't get to properly celebrate with my guys! We did, however, go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant Wednesday night.
I am very excited because this year I will celebrate my first ever Mother's Day! I received my first MD card in the mail yesterday and it was the coolest feeling. I put it right up on my fridge! Sunday is going to be amazing, I just wish Nick didn't have to work.
I am very excited because this year I will celebrate my first ever Mother's Day! I received my first MD card in the mail yesterday and it was the coolest feeling. I put it right up on my fridge! Sunday is going to be amazing, I just wish Nick didn't have to work.
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