http://sadandchara.blogspot.com/2011_02_09_archive.html
As I sit here still weeping from reading the words in the blog above, I am also in utter amazement. If Chad's were are not a true testament of God's spectacular love for us, than I do not know what is.
Chad is a man I do not know. He is a man who lost his wife, Sara, (who was in her last month of pregnancy) in a car accident. The doctors delivered their baby, a daughter named Miranda. Unfortunately, Miranda's injuries were very serious and she was put on life support. Tuesday, Chad had to make the decision to take her off of life support. In three days' time, this man lost his wife and his newborn daughter. He wasn't angry with God, he didn't blame God for what happened. He was so comforted in the fact that his little baby and his wife were together and they were with Jesus. He didn't curse God, he wasn't angry with Him.
It is so hard sometimes to accept that God doesn't let bad things happen, nor does he take people from us. As hard as that is to understand, He doesn't do those things. God is amazing, and He loves us so much and he is holding Chad so close to His heart right now.
I finished a book called The Shack about a month or so ago. Please read it. It helped me so much in understanding death and tragedy.
Chad, my heart and prayers and thoughts are with you now, and with your family. I pray that God will lay His healing hand upon you and your family. May God Bless you and Keep you.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
That can NEVER happen to my child......
Oh yes it can.
Something happened last night. And as embarrassing/shameful as it is to share, because it shows my failure as a mother in that incident, I am hoping that this will be a WARNING to all mothers out there.
I vacuum my floors every other day. I should do it every day because of the pets but I don't. Jake got a hold of a football toy that was Scott's. He slobbed it all up and managed to chew off the white plastic part that was the laces of the football. I picked it up right away and threw it away.
Nick took Scott back to give him a bottle and put him to bed and he mentioned something about how it looked like he was chewing. We agreed that it was due to his teething and so was the drooling. Scott took the bottle then went to bed.
About two hours later he started to fuss so I went in to see what was wrong. He was really stuffy so I set him upright on his changing table and when I leaned him back to snort out his nose I noticed something white in his mouth. OH MY GOD it was part of the white plastic thing from that football. Thought #1 - holy shit (pardon me)! He could have choked and died right in his crib right under our noses! Thought #2 what the hell kind of mother doesn't look into her child's mouth when it looks like he is chewing on something? Thought #3 - HOLY SHIT, MY CHILD COULD HAVE CHOKED ON THIS AND DIED!
Needless to say, I was a complete mess. I was so messed up. I was crying and I couldn't put him down. I sat down in the chair to rock with him and he fell asleep and I just sat there CRYING and thanking God for watching over Scott, when I had failed to do that myself. I am still so upset about this. I can't believe that I didn't just check in his mouth.
I guess when it comes down to it, I'm not a bad mother. I just made a mistake. Yes, a mistake that could have turned out very badly, but it didn't and now I need to learn from it.
So, if you think it can't happen to your child, it can, and it probably will no matter how many times a day/week you vacuum, or clean up or pick up. You child, especially a batboy toddler, will find things you didn't know were there so you need to be incredibly careful to make sure you pick up every single little thing.
Last night could have turned out so differently, so awful, but it didn't. I made a vow last night that I will never again have the attitude that "it will never happen to my child" and I ask that you, too, make that same vow right now.
Something happened last night. And as embarrassing/shameful as it is to share, because it shows my failure as a mother in that incident, I am hoping that this will be a WARNING to all mothers out there.
I vacuum my floors every other day. I should do it every day because of the pets but I don't. Jake got a hold of a football toy that was Scott's. He slobbed it all up and managed to chew off the white plastic part that was the laces of the football. I picked it up right away and threw it away.
Nick took Scott back to give him a bottle and put him to bed and he mentioned something about how it looked like he was chewing. We agreed that it was due to his teething and so was the drooling. Scott took the bottle then went to bed.
About two hours later he started to fuss so I went in to see what was wrong. He was really stuffy so I set him upright on his changing table and when I leaned him back to snort out his nose I noticed something white in his mouth. OH MY GOD it was part of the white plastic thing from that football. Thought #1 - holy shit (pardon me)! He could have choked and died right in his crib right under our noses! Thought #2 what the hell kind of mother doesn't look into her child's mouth when it looks like he is chewing on something? Thought #3 - HOLY SHIT, MY CHILD COULD HAVE CHOKED ON THIS AND DIED!
Needless to say, I was a complete mess. I was so messed up. I was crying and I couldn't put him down. I sat down in the chair to rock with him and he fell asleep and I just sat there CRYING and thanking God for watching over Scott, when I had failed to do that myself. I am still so upset about this. I can't believe that I didn't just check in his mouth.
I guess when it comes down to it, I'm not a bad mother. I just made a mistake. Yes, a mistake that could have turned out very badly, but it didn't and now I need to learn from it.
So, if you think it can't happen to your child, it can, and it probably will no matter how many times a day/week you vacuum, or clean up or pick up. You child, especially a batboy toddler, will find things you didn't know were there so you need to be incredibly careful to make sure you pick up every single little thing.
Last night could have turned out so differently, so awful, but it didn't. I made a vow last night that I will never again have the attitude that "it will never happen to my child" and I ask that you, too, make that same vow right now.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
For You, Grandpa.
Exactly one year ago today (at 6:00 pm), my grandpa passed away. I could go on and on and tell all of my memories of him. Like the time we were in Ft Lauderdale and he put a little lizard on my arm and had me go knock at the door so my grandma would come. She let out this loud scream and I just giggled and giggled. Or the time we left Sunday coffee with his buddies and when we got to the street he and my grandma lives on, he let me climb into his lap and "steer" the car home. Now, we all know who *really* did all the steering. At church on Sunday when we would stand up to sing, he would always point at the wrong song so I would start to sing that one.
He was at every sporting event, every school concert, every time I sang in church, no matter what church it was. He was always there, with the biggest smile on his face like I was his little shining star. He always let me know how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. He was always there for me. ALWAYS.
Grandpa, I know it's selfish, but I wish that you were back with me. I wish that you were around to crack your jokes and to tell me that you love me. I wish you were still here so that I could look out into the crowd at see you smile your smile at me. I wish you were here to hug me again, like I was your favorite grandchild, although I know you hugged us all like that. I wish you could meet Scott, I know you would be so proud of him and would love him so much.
But as much as I wish all of these things, I am glad that you don't hurt anymore. That you aren't sick anymore. Most of all I am glad that you are helping God prepare my place in Heaven, where we will one day be together again.
So, in honor of you today, on this one year anniversary of your passing, I leave you with this song, your favorite song. My Way by Frank Sinatra.
And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way
I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way
For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
Yes it was my way
He was at every sporting event, every school concert, every time I sang in church, no matter what church it was. He was always there, with the biggest smile on his face like I was his little shining star. He always let me know how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. He was always there for me. ALWAYS.
Grandpa, I know it's selfish, but I wish that you were back with me. I wish that you were around to crack your jokes and to tell me that you love me. I wish you were still here so that I could look out into the crowd at see you smile your smile at me. I wish you were here to hug me again, like I was your favorite grandchild, although I know you hugged us all like that. I wish you could meet Scott, I know you would be so proud of him and would love him so much.
But as much as I wish all of these things, I am glad that you don't hurt anymore. That you aren't sick anymore. Most of all I am glad that you are helping God prepare my place in Heaven, where we will one day be together again.
So, in honor of you today, on this one year anniversary of your passing, I leave you with this song, your favorite song. My Way by Frank Sinatra.
And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way
I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way
For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
Yes it was my way
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Back to work, Back to work......
It's back to work for this girl! I have had an incredible 7 months being home with Scott, and don't get me wrong, I have loved every minute of it, but I am the kind of person who needs to feel like she is doing something good for someone. Again, not that I didn't get complete satisfaction knowing that I was being a great mom for Scott, I just needed to be out there helping others, too.
I am the latest part-time employee at a national baby retail chain. I figured it wouldn't be too hard to be "away" from Scott if I surround myself with baby products! And, I wanted to be there to help expecting/new moms and anyone getting a gift for an expecting/new mom.
Tomorrow is my 1st real day (of not being in orientation and watching videos) of being on the floor and learning stuff. I am pretty pumped so cross your fingers that it all goes swimmingly!
I am the latest part-time employee at a national baby retail chain. I figured it wouldn't be too hard to be "away" from Scott if I surround myself with baby products! And, I wanted to be there to help expecting/new moms and anyone getting a gift for an expecting/new mom.
Tomorrow is my 1st real day (of not being in orientation and watching videos) of being on the floor and learning stuff. I am pretty pumped so cross your fingers that it all goes swimmingly!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Mr. Get-A-Round
Well, Mr. Scott is crawling and pulling himself up on EVERYTHING and it's so cute! When he first started crawling he was so slow going and so careful. Now he is just so brave and there is no obstacle he won't take on.....especially Braylon!
The kid is fearless. He just goes! It's so funny when he sees something he really wants he does the crawling equivalent of running! He is so happy that he can crawl to the dogs now, and he greets them with an open mouth. Yuck! No kisses in the mouth, Braylon and Jake!
The Biggest Loser?
So, Nick and I got a XBOX 360 Kinect and the technology is pretty cool. I really wanted to get the Biggest Loser game because I thought "Nothing will kick my butt like Jillian Anderson" or whatever her name is. So, I did the initial test and measurements and that, and waited to start because I was heading out of town for a few days the day after we bought it.
Well, tonight was the magic night. I did a 20 minute workout and all I have to say is that *THIS* girl is so out of shape it's not even funny. I was so tempted to pull the blinds for fear that my neighbors might see me and laugh and my chubby butt bouncing around!!! Haha! BUT, I patted myself on the back because I battled through and didn't give up and tailored my own workout plan and eating/calorie intake (yes, just in time for Christmas, none-the-less).
I have to admit that I have a very narcissistic view of myself. The woman I see in the mirror doesn't in any way reflect the woman I see in pictures. I don't hate myself, not by any means. I love myself, actually. I think I am a great and loving person, a good wife, a good mother and a good friend. However, I would like to lose some weight and be a little more fit. We would like to have another child, and I think it would be better for me to be in better shape.
I don't really like new year's resolutions because for some reason I always seem to fail. Actually, I did make good on my last new year's resolution so that is a plus! So, consider this my goal in order to have another baby! Get fit!
Well, tonight was the magic night. I did a 20 minute workout and all I have to say is that *THIS* girl is so out of shape it's not even funny. I was so tempted to pull the blinds for fear that my neighbors might see me and laugh and my chubby butt bouncing around!!! Haha! BUT, I patted myself on the back because I battled through and didn't give up and tailored my own workout plan and eating/calorie intake (yes, just in time for Christmas, none-the-less).
I have to admit that I have a very narcissistic view of myself. The woman I see in the mirror doesn't in any way reflect the woman I see in pictures. I don't hate myself, not by any means. I love myself, actually. I think I am a great and loving person, a good wife, a good mother and a good friend. However, I would like to lose some weight and be a little more fit. We would like to have another child, and I think it would be better for me to be in better shape.
I don't really like new year's resolutions because for some reason I always seem to fail. Actually, I did make good on my last new year's resolution so that is a plus! So, consider this my goal in order to have another baby! Get fit!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Living for God!
Well, I have finally found a church to attend regularly (when I am not back in my hometown visiting my parents) and I really enjoy it. I am so proud of myself for the changes I have made!
1) I have cut back a lot on my cursing. I know that sounds silly, but I used to swear a lot, and now I notice how much those around me swear and their choice of words.
2) I have STOPPED using the Lord's name in vain. YES, while it is very embarrassing to say that I even did that to begin with, it was like the swearing. It just came so easily to me.
3) I have truly opened my heart to Jesus and live for him, burn for him, and try to be the person he wants me to be. I am cutting myself off from any kind of family drama/gossip. For those of you who know my family or ARE my family, please do not jump to any conclusions here. I have three different sides of family now. Every family has their drama, whether it's big or small. I just really wish to remove myself from all of that. From feeling angry or hurt when people say something without thinking, or favor one more than the other, or talk about another member of the family. I just want to get away from it and LOVE everyone. You can't pick your family, so you might as well just decide to get over your negative feelings and just accept your family and just love them unconditionally. God loves YOU and ME that way. He gave His son to die for YOU and ME. Now that's love.
4) I am trying to be the person that God wants me to be. I want to give more. While we aren't rich with lots of money to hand out, we are rich in love. You can give your time, you can give homemade soup or hot chocolate. You can give your prayers.
I like to think that I am a good person, and no good person, even a good Christian, goes without their "weak" moments, or their moments where they didn't act or say or do what God would have wanted them to do. I'm not perfect, nor do I claim to be, but I believe that by trying my best every day to be the woman, wife, mother, sister, cousin, friend that GOD wants me to be, then I am doing something right.
1) I have cut back a lot on my cursing. I know that sounds silly, but I used to swear a lot, and now I notice how much those around me swear and their choice of words.
2) I have STOPPED using the Lord's name in vain. YES, while it is very embarrassing to say that I even did that to begin with, it was like the swearing. It just came so easily to me.
3) I have truly opened my heart to Jesus and live for him, burn for him, and try to be the person he wants me to be. I am cutting myself off from any kind of family drama/gossip. For those of you who know my family or ARE my family, please do not jump to any conclusions here. I have three different sides of family now. Every family has their drama, whether it's big or small. I just really wish to remove myself from all of that. From feeling angry or hurt when people say something without thinking, or favor one more than the other, or talk about another member of the family. I just want to get away from it and LOVE everyone. You can't pick your family, so you might as well just decide to get over your negative feelings and just accept your family and just love them unconditionally. God loves YOU and ME that way. He gave His son to die for YOU and ME. Now that's love.
4) I am trying to be the person that God wants me to be. I want to give more. While we aren't rich with lots of money to hand out, we are rich in love. You can give your time, you can give homemade soup or hot chocolate. You can give your prayers.
I like to think that I am a good person, and no good person, even a good Christian, goes without their "weak" moments, or their moments where they didn't act or say or do what God would have wanted them to do. I'm not perfect, nor do I claim to be, but I believe that by trying my best every day to be the woman, wife, mother, sister, cousin, friend that GOD wants me to be, then I am doing something right.
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