Today was a bad food day for me. I won't go into lots of detail here, but I am going through that special time that females go through so I am naturally out of sorts. I had a really, REALLY bad food day.
I indulged in ice cream and fast food (ok, and I had a carmello bar) and I am feeling so guilty and bad about it! I know that I can't just stop one eating lifestyle and start the other up and not have slip ups. I don't at all want to make my situation out to be some sort of food addiction, because I don't think that's fair to people who actually HAVE addictions and I don't. I don't want to make light of their situation. But today I just could not get enough, and I let the temptation get the best of me.
I guess that means double-time on the cardio tomorrow! :-)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Day 2
Weight - 223 (I don't think there has been a true drop in 7 pounds, our scale is old and rickity)
Today was awesome! We did most of the same things as Saturday, but I was able to go at them a little faster. One particular thing, that I couldn't do all 20 of consecutively, I was able to do today consecutively! I felt the burn a little bit more with today's exercises. After my workout with Tom (I keep wanting to call him Tony!) I went upstairs and hit the treadmill but only for 10 minutes. I had a bit of a pain in my chest (NOTHING to worry about. I am fine!) so I hopped on the bike for 10 minutes/1.3 miles. Scott had fun playing with the other kiddos in the child care area.
Overall, it was a great workout!
Today was awesome! We did most of the same things as Saturday, but I was able to go at them a little faster. One particular thing, that I couldn't do all 20 of consecutively, I was able to do today consecutively! I felt the burn a little bit more with today's exercises. After my workout with Tom (I keep wanting to call him Tony!) I went upstairs and hit the treadmill but only for 10 minutes. I had a bit of a pain in my chest (NOTHING to worry about. I am fine!) so I hopped on the bike for 10 minutes/1.3 miles. Scott had fun playing with the other kiddos in the child care area.
Overall, it was a great workout!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Day 1
Weight - 230 lbs
Trainer - Tom (Tom is the man!)
Oh man! Tom kicked my ass! He had me do all sorts of activities. I was working muscles I didn't know I had anymore. I thought for a little while after our workout that I might puke. This is going to sound weird, but, THANK YOU, Tom!
First activity - squat down with medicine ball, touch medicine ball on ground, stand up put medicine ball over head and JUMP. I did two sets of 20. (I need to mention that the walls are covered in mirrors). Ummm, Tom, we need to talk. This activity does not look good on me! Haha! As much as I hated it and it burned and I looked like the chubby girl who was really out of shape, I almost can't wait to do more because I know how good it is for me! We did about 10-15 different activities, two sets of each. As I was doing each one, some a lot tougher than others, all I could think about was the end result. I will be healthier. I will look better, and feel better about the way I look and the way I feel.
After our workout, Tom and I sat down and we talked numbers. I hate the word diet, because to me it has a negative connotation. I don't need a diet, I need a lifestyle change. He gave me some tips on eating healthier and ways to make that easier.
I know I have a steep, up-hill battle to climb. As hard as it is going to be, I can't help but be excited to start climbing.
Trainer - Tom (Tom is the man!)
Oh man! Tom kicked my ass! He had me do all sorts of activities. I was working muscles I didn't know I had anymore. I thought for a little while after our workout that I might puke. This is going to sound weird, but, THANK YOU, Tom!
First activity - squat down with medicine ball, touch medicine ball on ground, stand up put medicine ball over head and JUMP. I did two sets of 20. (I need to mention that the walls are covered in mirrors). Ummm, Tom, we need to talk. This activity does not look good on me! Haha! As much as I hated it and it burned and I looked like the chubby girl who was really out of shape, I almost can't wait to do more because I know how good it is for me! We did about 10-15 different activities, two sets of each. As I was doing each one, some a lot tougher than others, all I could think about was the end result. I will be healthier. I will look better, and feel better about the way I look and the way I feel.
After our workout, Tom and I sat down and we talked numbers. I hate the word diet, because to me it has a negative connotation. I don't need a diet, I need a lifestyle change. He gave me some tips on eating healthier and ways to make that easier.
I know I have a steep, up-hill battle to climb. As hard as it is going to be, I can't help but be excited to start climbing.
The turning point
I don't want to compare the current me to high school me in terms of weight, but I have only ever GAINED weight since my high school graduation. Not counting pregnancy, I have gained 100 pounds since high school. It's time to make a change.
I had been trying, for some time, to deny that I was as big as I am. When I looked in the mirror I saw someone completely different than pictures show. I've never seen myself as fat. I know that word sounds so harsh, but I have finally accepted the fact that I am fat. I am obese, actually. This isn't a pity party for me, this is the first step in what will be an amazing change in my life.
I have joined a gym and they do a free fitness evaluation. I decided why not? The results were shocking. I decided right then and there that I needed to make a big change, and I needed to do it immediately. I signed up to work with a personal trainer (because I knew if I had someone to be accountable to, I would keep with it) 3 times a week for three months. I have set a big goal for myself, too. I plan to achieve that goal.
So here I go. This is The Biggest Loser Mandi Smith style!
I had been trying, for some time, to deny that I was as big as I am. When I looked in the mirror I saw someone completely different than pictures show. I've never seen myself as fat. I know that word sounds so harsh, but I have finally accepted the fact that I am fat. I am obese, actually. This isn't a pity party for me, this is the first step in what will be an amazing change in my life.
I have joined a gym and they do a free fitness evaluation. I decided why not? The results were shocking. I decided right then and there that I needed to make a big change, and I needed to do it immediately. I signed up to work with a personal trainer (because I knew if I had someone to be accountable to, I would keep with it) 3 times a week for three months. I have set a big goal for myself, too. I plan to achieve that goal.
So here I go. This is The Biggest Loser Mandi Smith style!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
To Chad with love.
http://sadandchara.blogspot.com/2011_02_09_archive.html
As I sit here still weeping from reading the words in the blog above, I am also in utter amazement. If Chad's were are not a true testament of God's spectacular love for us, than I do not know what is.
Chad is a man I do not know. He is a man who lost his wife, Sara, (who was in her last month of pregnancy) in a car accident. The doctors delivered their baby, a daughter named Miranda. Unfortunately, Miranda's injuries were very serious and she was put on life support. Tuesday, Chad had to make the decision to take her off of life support. In three days' time, this man lost his wife and his newborn daughter. He wasn't angry with God, he didn't blame God for what happened. He was so comforted in the fact that his little baby and his wife were together and they were with Jesus. He didn't curse God, he wasn't angry with Him.
It is so hard sometimes to accept that God doesn't let bad things happen, nor does he take people from us. As hard as that is to understand, He doesn't do those things. God is amazing, and He loves us so much and he is holding Chad so close to His heart right now.
I finished a book called The Shack about a month or so ago. Please read it. It helped me so much in understanding death and tragedy.
Chad, my heart and prayers and thoughts are with you now, and with your family. I pray that God will lay His healing hand upon you and your family. May God Bless you and Keep you.
As I sit here still weeping from reading the words in the blog above, I am also in utter amazement. If Chad's were are not a true testament of God's spectacular love for us, than I do not know what is.
Chad is a man I do not know. He is a man who lost his wife, Sara, (who was in her last month of pregnancy) in a car accident. The doctors delivered their baby, a daughter named Miranda. Unfortunately, Miranda's injuries were very serious and she was put on life support. Tuesday, Chad had to make the decision to take her off of life support. In three days' time, this man lost his wife and his newborn daughter. He wasn't angry with God, he didn't blame God for what happened. He was so comforted in the fact that his little baby and his wife were together and they were with Jesus. He didn't curse God, he wasn't angry with Him.
It is so hard sometimes to accept that God doesn't let bad things happen, nor does he take people from us. As hard as that is to understand, He doesn't do those things. God is amazing, and He loves us so much and he is holding Chad so close to His heart right now.
I finished a book called The Shack about a month or so ago. Please read it. It helped me so much in understanding death and tragedy.
Chad, my heart and prayers and thoughts are with you now, and with your family. I pray that God will lay His healing hand upon you and your family. May God Bless you and Keep you.
Monday, January 31, 2011
That can NEVER happen to my child......
Oh yes it can.
Something happened last night. And as embarrassing/shameful as it is to share, because it shows my failure as a mother in that incident, I am hoping that this will be a WARNING to all mothers out there.
I vacuum my floors every other day. I should do it every day because of the pets but I don't. Jake got a hold of a football toy that was Scott's. He slobbed it all up and managed to chew off the white plastic part that was the laces of the football. I picked it up right away and threw it away.
Nick took Scott back to give him a bottle and put him to bed and he mentioned something about how it looked like he was chewing. We agreed that it was due to his teething and so was the drooling. Scott took the bottle then went to bed.
About two hours later he started to fuss so I went in to see what was wrong. He was really stuffy so I set him upright on his changing table and when I leaned him back to snort out his nose I noticed something white in his mouth. OH MY GOD it was part of the white plastic thing from that football. Thought #1 - holy shit (pardon me)! He could have choked and died right in his crib right under our noses! Thought #2 what the hell kind of mother doesn't look into her child's mouth when it looks like he is chewing on something? Thought #3 - HOLY SHIT, MY CHILD COULD HAVE CHOKED ON THIS AND DIED!
Needless to say, I was a complete mess. I was so messed up. I was crying and I couldn't put him down. I sat down in the chair to rock with him and he fell asleep and I just sat there CRYING and thanking God for watching over Scott, when I had failed to do that myself. I am still so upset about this. I can't believe that I didn't just check in his mouth.
I guess when it comes down to it, I'm not a bad mother. I just made a mistake. Yes, a mistake that could have turned out very badly, but it didn't and now I need to learn from it.
So, if you think it can't happen to your child, it can, and it probably will no matter how many times a day/week you vacuum, or clean up or pick up. You child, especially a batboy toddler, will find things you didn't know were there so you need to be incredibly careful to make sure you pick up every single little thing.
Last night could have turned out so differently, so awful, but it didn't. I made a vow last night that I will never again have the attitude that "it will never happen to my child" and I ask that you, too, make that same vow right now.
Something happened last night. And as embarrassing/shameful as it is to share, because it shows my failure as a mother in that incident, I am hoping that this will be a WARNING to all mothers out there.
I vacuum my floors every other day. I should do it every day because of the pets but I don't. Jake got a hold of a football toy that was Scott's. He slobbed it all up and managed to chew off the white plastic part that was the laces of the football. I picked it up right away and threw it away.
Nick took Scott back to give him a bottle and put him to bed and he mentioned something about how it looked like he was chewing. We agreed that it was due to his teething and so was the drooling. Scott took the bottle then went to bed.
About two hours later he started to fuss so I went in to see what was wrong. He was really stuffy so I set him upright on his changing table and when I leaned him back to snort out his nose I noticed something white in his mouth. OH MY GOD it was part of the white plastic thing from that football. Thought #1 - holy shit (pardon me)! He could have choked and died right in his crib right under our noses! Thought #2 what the hell kind of mother doesn't look into her child's mouth when it looks like he is chewing on something? Thought #3 - HOLY SHIT, MY CHILD COULD HAVE CHOKED ON THIS AND DIED!
Needless to say, I was a complete mess. I was so messed up. I was crying and I couldn't put him down. I sat down in the chair to rock with him and he fell asleep and I just sat there CRYING and thanking God for watching over Scott, when I had failed to do that myself. I am still so upset about this. I can't believe that I didn't just check in his mouth.
I guess when it comes down to it, I'm not a bad mother. I just made a mistake. Yes, a mistake that could have turned out very badly, but it didn't and now I need to learn from it.
So, if you think it can't happen to your child, it can, and it probably will no matter how many times a day/week you vacuum, or clean up or pick up. You child, especially a batboy toddler, will find things you didn't know were there so you need to be incredibly careful to make sure you pick up every single little thing.
Last night could have turned out so differently, so awful, but it didn't. I made a vow last night that I will never again have the attitude that "it will never happen to my child" and I ask that you, too, make that same vow right now.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
For You, Grandpa.
Exactly one year ago today (at 6:00 pm), my grandpa passed away. I could go on and on and tell all of my memories of him. Like the time we were in Ft Lauderdale and he put a little lizard on my arm and had me go knock at the door so my grandma would come. She let out this loud scream and I just giggled and giggled. Or the time we left Sunday coffee with his buddies and when we got to the street he and my grandma lives on, he let me climb into his lap and "steer" the car home. Now, we all know who *really* did all the steering. At church on Sunday when we would stand up to sing, he would always point at the wrong song so I would start to sing that one.
He was at every sporting event, every school concert, every time I sang in church, no matter what church it was. He was always there, with the biggest smile on his face like I was his little shining star. He always let me know how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. He was always there for me. ALWAYS.
Grandpa, I know it's selfish, but I wish that you were back with me. I wish that you were around to crack your jokes and to tell me that you love me. I wish you were still here so that I could look out into the crowd at see you smile your smile at me. I wish you were here to hug me again, like I was your favorite grandchild, although I know you hugged us all like that. I wish you could meet Scott, I know you would be so proud of him and would love him so much.
But as much as I wish all of these things, I am glad that you don't hurt anymore. That you aren't sick anymore. Most of all I am glad that you are helping God prepare my place in Heaven, where we will one day be together again.
So, in honor of you today, on this one year anniversary of your passing, I leave you with this song, your favorite song. My Way by Frank Sinatra.
And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way
I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way
For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
Yes it was my way
He was at every sporting event, every school concert, every time I sang in church, no matter what church it was. He was always there, with the biggest smile on his face like I was his little shining star. He always let me know how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. He was always there for me. ALWAYS.
Grandpa, I know it's selfish, but I wish that you were back with me. I wish that you were around to crack your jokes and to tell me that you love me. I wish you were still here so that I could look out into the crowd at see you smile your smile at me. I wish you were here to hug me again, like I was your favorite grandchild, although I know you hugged us all like that. I wish you could meet Scott, I know you would be so proud of him and would love him so much.
But as much as I wish all of these things, I am glad that you don't hurt anymore. That you aren't sick anymore. Most of all I am glad that you are helping God prepare my place in Heaven, where we will one day be together again.
So, in honor of you today, on this one year anniversary of your passing, I leave you with this song, your favorite song. My Way by Frank Sinatra.
And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way
I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way
For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
Yes it was my way
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